Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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