Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Me too!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
