I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
