You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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