hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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