his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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