i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My liver just had a heart attack.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
