i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
