i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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