Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
