Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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