giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
