my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
