After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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