Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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