ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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