john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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