Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
