i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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