Define "chronic" masturbator.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I will be naked everywhere
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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