I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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