How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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