Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
