The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
