i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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