They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
