if i can run in heels then i can drive
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize