he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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