Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
