why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
