Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
