Do vagina's smell?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
