omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
