I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Randomize
