Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
