I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
