You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
