Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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