he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize