Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
