So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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