Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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