At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
