She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You have to summon your inner elephant
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
