I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize