is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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