Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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