Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
