I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
