Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
