i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
