i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
