Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
