watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
