Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
