She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
