I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
