well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
