check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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