I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
