So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
