i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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