I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
