how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
