my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
