he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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