This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
