ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
