And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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