i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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