I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
